Post by svartmetall on Apr 5, 2012 21:21:45 GMT
(with apologies to Lewis Carroll)
'Twas premium, and the Traktors Lol
did gyre and gimble in the knoll
With MS-1s and Cunninghams
In Malinovka's grassy lands
But then a tank, still trailing smoke
that made the Traktors cough and choke
From Ruinberg's rubble did alight
With warning dire for all in sight
"Beware these tidings dark!" it said
reciting such a tale of dread
that all who heard did cow'r and quake
Surely this was some mistake?
No tank could be so great, so fell
that Tigers King would run like hell!
But sure, a shadow huge and dark
did fall 'cross Ruinberg's airy park
It was the JABBERMAUS, so vast
that all who saw it fled, and fast
Their tracks did smoke, such was their haste
To 'scape the beast that laid them waste
And when the city's streets lay bare
The JABBERMAUS did make its lair
The tanks returned to cause him hurt
"We shall prevail!" they did assert
And BANG! With belch of smoke so black,
their vorpal guns did boom and crack
Yet though gold shells did rend the air,
the JABBERMAUS showed not a care...
"Oh woe!" they cried, now all dismayed
"This is not how the game is played!"
Oh, how the tanks did wail and cry!
"This tank, it simply will not die!"
"Ware ye the JABBERMAUS!" tanks cried
"For none can pierce its armoured hide!
Not Armour-Pierce nor High-Ex round
Can bring this monster to the ground!"
But then, from 'midst the serried ranks
of unassuming low-tier tanks
"I know a way!" one said aloud
This Hetzer of his plan was proud
So, warily they did return
Beneath their tracks the earth did churn
And from afar the foe was 'spied
"I see the 'MAUS!" T-50 cried
And then the little Hetzer said
"Enrage the beast, till it sees red
And when it charges with a roar
We'll lure the beast to Lakeville's shore!"
They opened fire, the tank it stirred
Espied its antagonists' herd
It voiced its rage with mighty shout
And chased the interlopers out
It followed them, its rage so great
It gave no heed to its own state
And so the motley crew of tanks
Led JABBERMAUS a merry dance
Then many shells, they did explode
Along the scenic lakeside road
As JABBERMAUS tried, all in vain
To catch its prey and cause them pain
And, lo! did Lakeville's church bells peal
The plucky Hetzer's plan revealed
For as the huge tank turned and turned
The narrow path was greatly churned
And so great was the monster's weight
The edge gave way, the great tank's fate
Was sealed by its own ranting rave
It plummeted to wat'ry grave...
So if in Lakeville e'er you fight
Avoid the lake, by day or night
For in the waters' murky deeps
The JABBERMAUS still restless sleeps!
'Twas premium, and the Traktors Lol
did gyre and gimble in the knoll
With MS-1s and Cunninghams
In Malinovka's grassy lands
But then a tank, still trailing smoke
that made the Traktors cough and choke
From Ruinberg's rubble did alight
With warning dire for all in sight
"Beware these tidings dark!" it said
reciting such a tale of dread
that all who heard did cow'r and quake
Surely this was some mistake?
No tank could be so great, so fell
that Tigers King would run like hell!
But sure, a shadow huge and dark
did fall 'cross Ruinberg's airy park
It was the JABBERMAUS, so vast
that all who saw it fled, and fast
Their tracks did smoke, such was their haste
To 'scape the beast that laid them waste
And when the city's streets lay bare
The JABBERMAUS did make its lair
The tanks returned to cause him hurt
"We shall prevail!" they did assert
And BANG! With belch of smoke so black,
their vorpal guns did boom and crack
Yet though gold shells did rend the air,
the JABBERMAUS showed not a care...
"Oh woe!" they cried, now all dismayed
"This is not how the game is played!"
Oh, how the tanks did wail and cry!
"This tank, it simply will not die!"
"Ware ye the JABBERMAUS!" tanks cried
"For none can pierce its armoured hide!
Not Armour-Pierce nor High-Ex round
Can bring this monster to the ground!"
But then, from 'midst the serried ranks
of unassuming low-tier tanks
"I know a way!" one said aloud
This Hetzer of his plan was proud
So, warily they did return
Beneath their tracks the earth did churn
And from afar the foe was 'spied
"I see the 'MAUS!" T-50 cried
And then the little Hetzer said
"Enrage the beast, till it sees red
And when it charges with a roar
We'll lure the beast to Lakeville's shore!"
They opened fire, the tank it stirred
Espied its antagonists' herd
It voiced its rage with mighty shout
And chased the interlopers out
It followed them, its rage so great
It gave no heed to its own state
And so the motley crew of tanks
Led JABBERMAUS a merry dance
Then many shells, they did explode
Along the scenic lakeside road
As JABBERMAUS tried, all in vain
To catch its prey and cause them pain
And, lo! did Lakeville's church bells peal
The plucky Hetzer's plan revealed
For as the huge tank turned and turned
The narrow path was greatly churned
And so great was the monster's weight
The edge gave way, the great tank's fate
Was sealed by its own ranting rave
It plummeted to wat'ry grave...
So if in Lakeville e'er you fight
Avoid the lake, by day or night
For in the waters' murky deeps
The JABBERMAUS still restless sleeps!
